Blacklisted and Quarreled

I quarreled wit a boy today…

I couldn’t control my hatred deeply hidden in my soul…

I’d been listed in the blacklist of prefects…

I tot I’m going to tell her during the maths period in the classroom

Instead, she called me n the another 2 to the staffroom in the morning

I told her everything… she seemed to not understand my point…

Or maybe she holds her view still…

I didn’t tell Amanda this matter from A to Z…

Because I worried I’d cry…

I hardly tried to think of ways to distract my mind from thinking of tat…

Finally I passed till recess time…

no tears drop from my eyes…

Jz spinning at the bottom of my eyes…

(I turned to another direction so tat she wouldn’t notice…

But she’ll know when she read this… Plz dun be angry)

I couldn't accept...

She said gotta meet the principle if it repeats...

I can tell you...

This is my 1st time being absent for meetings...

I confessed tat I really forgot...

So I decided to go back at 1.05pm... Back home for lunch 1st then come again...

But my mom said tat I'm creating troubles for her... Plus my brother was sick...

So I didn't turn up...

Today morning, I apologized to the leader of prefects....

Coz she mempengerusikan the meeting yst...

I decided to inform the tchr during maths period...

But then, she called us at the 2nd period this morning...

COMMITMENT.... PROUD....

DISAPPOINTED.... those words were pronounced from her tongue....

Too bad... *hahaha... i'm super hyper extremely stupid, idiotic, klutz....

After the break, I had moral lesson...

The tchr didn't come...

Those fella making so much noise....

(I wished I could give each of them a slap on their disgusting faces)

How many times we asked you shut your yapping mouth up??

U asked me to shut up in contrary??

"Hey! U screamed 1st!!!!"

"Yes, I did... But I know wad I'm doing!!!"

"You are making noise!!!!"

Damn shit la you!

This is not your classroom okay?

If you wan to make noise please get out from here and beat it to yours la!!

You are spoiling our class' reputation now!!

I dunno how come my tears shed off very quickly after retorting against his words...

I really dislike boys...

Their ways of laughing as if gangsters tackling girls

and shouting as if dogs yapping

make me so furious....!!!!

I couldn't withstand any more...

Life's very gruelling and exhausting...

Why am I breathing here?

What should I do for my future?

Being diligent like a cow?

Being responsible like hell?

And pretending to be happy and cheered up all the time???

Nobody could help me in this... I knew....

Sometimes I prefer to be a normal student...

It can be the weakest....

But not among the top ones....

At least there won't be no a pile of burden waiting for me to be put on my breakable shoulders....

Am I right??

Some people really have fortunate...

They are able to escape from any punishments for wad they have done...

There no "justice" in this realistic world...

Finally I knew what she said when I was still a kid....