Done with New Moon

i'm done with New Moon. so romantic. but jacob is very pitiful. the ending is sort of funny. edward proposed bella without preparing a ring. == stupid bella. why did she accept the proposal??

now, i need to think of edward and bella before i sleep every night. edward shouldn't do that to her. n, it's not bella's fault that she fell in love with jacob when edward left her.

i watched the movie yst. edward said : I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME WITH ME. You just don't belong with me. I promise that this will be the last time you see me. I won't come back. It will be as if i'd never existed.

he was gone. and then came back aft a few months. he didn't know how much hurt bella had undergone. i doubt his love towards bella.

Owh~ I Love New MOON!!

recently (recently=this few months =P) i'm entirely wallow in reading. as i titled this post as "Owh~ I Love New MOON!!", i think u know what's my present favourite novel. amanda will surely get bugged if she saw this post =X

haha... i have dived myself into the story of NEW MOON. it's too good! i love the environment there-- the dim sunlight in Forks, the beach, Blacks' little house, the damp forest and the sharp cliff at La Push. everything is extremely imaginable for me. i always have reveries about these, all the time, no matter where i go and what i'm doing.

in fact, i know why the novel is so appealing to me. i lost the part of my soul that i used to have. but it's merely an extra vitamin to keep my mind healthy, or a puncher to punch holes through my heart now. therefore, i'm trying to put my concentration and love into these illusory characters.

it really works. every morning as i open my eyes and wake up, the first thing flicks through my mind is "How are Bella, Jacob and Edward going today? Where are the vampires and werewolves now?" i'm so anxious about these people. as if they really exist in my world. they are my drug to make me realxed and cheerful. they are also one of the significant and essential portions in my heart. the way i can know their life and understand them is by opening the NEW MOON and read it.

so, whenever my friends talk to me about anything. i'm capable to relate the topics to the story. amanda displayed her round fist to me this morning. haha. i could think of the narration about Jacob's reaction when he knew that James almost killed Bella in the last Spring break. He clenched his fingers and teeth, shivering on the Rabbit (it's a bike actually). COOL~

A Surprising Victory

yesterday i represented my rumah sukan for a "bola baling" match together with the other buddies. i arrived at school at 2.40 p.m. Gosh!!! there were only 4 out of 7 players turning up. i was so worried that we would be disqualified with no doubt. T.T

then, the tchr asked boys to carry on their match first. HUHU... luckily they had not finished their match the day before yesterday *as it rained cats and dogs. fatasya quickly called yun shin and balqis to come and "rescue" us.

they reached here within half an hour. that time, it started to rain already. i thought the game will be postponed to tomorrow. instead, the boys continued their match. and finally until our turn. the field was so damp and muddy, AND SLIPPERY as well.

i took off my shoes and waded through the water with bare foot. the mud smells so stinky, as if the smell of bulls' faeces. OWHHH, the stench made me want to throw up everything in my gut. >.<

i don't remember which team we competed with at the first round. i dunno how to play bola baling actually =.= i followed the instructions and rules given only. it's quite simple and easy. it's jz like smashing apple pies to the goalkeeper!! haha! YES!! we defeated the opponent!! haha... it is unbelievable!! we gained much more confidence to continue the next round TO BE THE CHAMPION!!! hohohho.... =D

i thought we are going to lose the game. coz the opponent of next round is quite strong from physical aspect. who know, they went against the rules many times. the last goal they shoot was not taken~ so we won!!! hoooray!

i'm very happy with this! BUT i got a CUT at the SOLE of one of MY FOOT! i only discovered that after taking my bath. =.= so painful la.... wanna cry when i applied antiseptic on it. i can't even walk properly now. this morning, i bandaged it and still wore my shoes to school (without stocking, feel so paiseh to tell mention here >.<)

now, i'm going to have my bath whereas my mom went to buy a dettol for me, heading back soon. (here comes the worst one.) she said: if your wound still not recover tonight, i'm going to bring you to the doctor for an injection. i think the bacteria entered your blood stream aldi. how painful would this tiny wound be?? like how you suffered from? aiyo... very 'sa po' la" =.=

okay... i'm now going to take a bath to wash my wound!! actually there is another scratch. that was on another feet, only being discovered this morning. zadao~

Hope God bless me T.T

i dun wan pus to be in my wound!!!

Life's A Miracle

Life's a miracle. i have a cloth wit this sentence. i could fathom the meaning now.

Life's sort of complicated. i will always miss my direction any time. but then, there's always an angel with me. she teach me wad to do next. i can feel it. yet sometimes i ignore her and obey to my "demon", i'll surely fall at last.

isn't tis is weird? maybe, the angel in my heart is born from the advice given by oth ppl. they are my good judges. whereas the demon is myself, i guess so. =)

i dunno wad i want now. but at least, i know wad i wanna do. i have a very strong determine to study now. i dun wan to think abt other trivial things for now. they are a distraction 4 me to achieve my success. i wish i could hv a very bright future, which mean i can fully enjoy myself in career. tat's all my target now. simple and easy rite?

i read a post jz now. it says: There's always a little truth behind every "Just Kidding". A little emotion behind "I dont Care" and a little pain behind "Its ok". yeah, tat's the theory in our life.

i saw the blog. mb he will reach those target, mb he won't. but all i know is that he'll have a new girlfren if i dun prefer him. i dunno wad the result will be. i dun anticipate towards it as well. let everything flows naturally. if the thing belongs to you, you wil gain it.

so, i only wanna study now. besides study, still study. my life is connected wit books. catching up wit New Moon now. bye.

What's Going Wrong?

i saw him outside tat day. he jz glanced at me and twisted his head back. WTH IS WRONG WIT HIM?? y did he pretend dunno me? crazy ah? lost his memory ah? fuyoo..

as u know. n as i told u b4. i always treat people in the way people treat me. if he/she has committed betrayal to me, i'll let him/her suffer from the same thing. if he/her act not to know me, i'll do the same thing as well. i'm neither tat kind nor generous as wad's in ur mind, okay?

coz many incidents taught me tat there is no justice is this world. no matter how good i used to be, oni very scarce people would appreciate it. so, i oni treat those people very good. and be ignorant to the others who r not thankful instead. even though he/she is a person i trust alot. this is me.

i really dun understand wad's going on. leaving me right after revealing the truth? i'm also not sure if it's a truth. i could oni make a decision based on the advice given. anyway, tat's not the main point here.

it's an eyesore for me to see u in my list of siblings, of fb. hence, to ease my eyes, removing u is the best way huh? yeah, i did. done now!

Not Going to PRS Camp of 2010

my mom didn't allow me to go to the PRS camping in PD. well, i could fathom it well without any explanation is given by her though. she gave some kinda unreasonable excuses. but i know she's worried about me. =)

but when i told my buddies, they kinda upset. in another word, i might say they were almost mad. not insane la. haih. at the beginning, 1 of my frenz said her mom allowed her go there wit her brother's company. but then, when i told her tat i'm not going, she said her mom doesn't allow as well... jz bcoz of me T.T

aiyo... y did she go and tell her mom leh... mb she had her own difficulties? yea. everything is messed up now. den the others also dun wan to go aldi. haiz... in fact, i was so scared when i met them at the tapak perhimpunan yst morning. u know. i was so sure tat they would keep grumbling and those questions starting from the word "Why" would scatter on my head. it was really terrible and horrifying~ ceaseless nagging is scary! blah blah blah blah blah blah... =.=

after all, they are my sweethearts. i won't mind abt tat. but hor... if anyone of u saw tis, errmmmm... if can, IF la.... stop nagging O.o~ =) *please don't murder me arh...

I Don't Want

today my "da yi ma" came. the part is always painful and killing me for the 1st and 2nd day. jz hate this too much. going to consult a doctor soon. hopefully there's nothing wrong wit my body.

when i was in the school, the radiated pain entered my heart and brain. i need a rest. i lied on the table wit tchr's permission. i couldn't bear it any more. i felt very dizzy and feeble. as if going to faint. i wanted to go home. manda and jane helped me out. thx~ and my tchr as well =)

last time, whenever i was suffering from tis. i had a routine - telling him my situation to ease the discomfort of my mind. it would always slightly ease the pain. but now, i hv abolished tis habit. NO, is i shud abolish this.

i saw his blog. wad i oni know, is my heart undergoing numbness now. do i regret? is my decision correct? is he faithful and honest? and the most vital thing... will he wait? i have no idea. coz i dunno wad he's thinking now. i also dun really get him. is there anything special wit 23rd of april?

but i really dun understand boys sumtimes. it's a very deep knowledge for me to explore. their thinking is absolutely weird. last time, i tot i'm able to understand them very well as i used to be playful and rude like them when i was a kid. and i promised myself not to let my future bf or husband to suffer from the same hardships. but then, when i grow bigger, being a young girl now. i can't figure it out any more. i dun trust boys now, except the boy i know since standard one. he always keep his promises and is a very kind person i'd ever met.

actually, i didn't tell him my opinion on the marriage of my aunt b4 we broke up. coz i knew he was very busy. it's pointless to explain tis to him. most probably, he would think tat i was over-worried. my uncle hit my aunt in singapore. he pushed her towards the wall. i saw a bruise on her forehead. i felt very afraid. even though he is rich, his real attitude beneath his gentlemanly appearance terrified me a lot. in the past few months, i always picked up the calls from my aunt. she sobbed at another end of the phone. i knew, her marriage is going to crumple up wit divorce.

and i...

DUN WISH TO FOLLOW HER PATH AND

REGRET,

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.